Some months ago I took a look at my life, and I was none too impressed with what I saw. Oh, it wasn’t really my life that I wasn’t thrilled with — I have an amazing boyfriend, great family, good job, good friends, I live in a great city in a house I love, I have every opportunity available to me… I enjoy my life. What’s not to like?
But when I looked at me… I had become lazy, complacent, I had gained weight (just a little) and become loose about the junk I was eating, all the time. My skin was the worst it’s ever been, when at 24 it should be at it’s best! I had emotional mood swings more and more frequently. I would feel fine one minute, and then some tiny trigger would go off and all of a sudden I was an insecure, needy, antisocial mess of anxiety and sometimes tears. And the worst part was, I wasn’t doing anything. I had dreams and goals that I wanted to accomplish, and very little progress toward them because, honestly, I had put very little effort into them. I wanted to paint, play music, take pictures, go places, build things, write things, make a difference… and I did none of those things. I wanted to build a career, eat good foods, learn to cook, exercise regularly, get my finances together… and I did none of those things. What I did do was hang out, eat whatever seemed tasty, go out and spent my money on food and drink, and watch lots of netflix. I’m not a loser, but I was acting like a loser.
It isn’t easy for me to publicly write these things about myself. But I’ve gathered a lot of inspiration and motivation from reading blogs of other people being honest and open about themselves and their struggles and insecurities, and for that reason I decided to write about my own journey. Maybe I can be part of someone else’s personal growth journey. Maybe a sentence or two that I say somewhere along the way will catch in someone’s mind and they’ll glean something that they can use to improve their own life. And maybe it will help me along the way. They say that blogging helps you become a better writer, helps you develop an eye for meaningful things, and cause you to live a more intentional life. So why not?
Back to me. I looked at myself, didn’t like what I was doing with my life, and thought, “Bekah. Get your shit together!!” And then I made a plan. And then I procrastinated on implementing said plan, because holidays, and birthdays, and parties, and summer, and fun, and lazy, and I don’t wanna. And then, finally, I embraced the truth that there’s no time like the present, and I began. Research shows that it takes 21 days to establish a habit (or break a habit), so that’s where I‘m starting. I’ve got some bad habits to kick and some good habits to start, so here’s the project: every month I will pick a new habit. 30 days is more than 21, but we’ll just say there's an extra week is for good measure. And for that month, I will strictly follow a set of rules in order to establish that habit. It’s a bit of an experimental project, but I’m excited to see how it works. Here we go!
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